A study on Asian American students found that feeling like an impostor was linked to greater distress, partly through shame about letting others and family down, and that self-compassion softened that link.
You just finished a big project that took a lot of time and energy invested, and someone praises you for it. Rather than feeling pride, a quiet sense that you got lucky creeps in, and a thought that sooner or later someone will see that you aren’t as capable as they think. Psychologists call this “impostor feelings,” the belief that our accomplishments come from luck or circumstance, rather than our own innate ability (Clance & Imes, 1978, as cited in Wei et al., 2020).
To better understand how impostor feelings relate to emotional distress, and what might help when the distress becomes overwhelming, researchers surveyed 433 Asian American students at a public university in the U.S. Most of the participants were around 20 years old, and born in the United States to immigrant families (Wei et al., 2020).
Where shame arises
Students with stronger impostor feelings reported more distress, such as anxiety and low mood. Part of that link was influenced by what researchers called “interpersonal shame”: the worry that others will see us as inadequate, or that our shortcomings might cause our family to lose face, or mất mặt (Wei et al., 2020).
For many Asian families, concern about face comes from a place of care: a wish to protect one another, and to honor what has been sacrificed. At the same time, when each achievement implicitly carries the weight of others’ expectations, praise received can feel more like debt than true recognition.
Where compassion helps
Students who were kinder towards themselves showed a weaker link between impostor feelings and shame, and from that, less distress. The link didn’t disappear completely, however, it was noticeably gentler (Wei et al., 2020).
Three aspects of self-compassion seemed to be most useful:
Remembering that struggle is a shared human experience rather than a private failure.
Being less harsh in judging oneself.
Not becoming completely consumed by feelings of inadequacy.
The researchers noted that self-criticism is often used to motivate growth in many Asian cultures, yet it may also leave people more prone to shame (Wei et al., 2020).
The researchers also raised a thoughtful question about culture: in communities that value humility, being reluctant to credit our own ability might reflect modesty rather than self-doubt. A questionnaire may not always be able to distinguish between the two (Wei et al., 2020). Perhaps the difference may lie in what we choose to carry afterward. Humility can allow us to accept praise lightly and share it with others. Impostor feelings tend to make us hold it at a distance, waiting for our perceived inadequacy to be found out.
When someone recognizes something you have done well, how does it often feel to receive that praise?
Author: An Huỳnh
Reference
Wei, M., Liu, S., Ko, S. Y., Wang, C., & Du, Y. (2020). Impostor feelings and psychological distress among Asian Americans: Interpersonal shame and self-compassion. The Counseling Psychologist, 48(3), 432–458. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000019891992
